May Crowning

Celebrating May Crowning: 
Honoring the Queen of Heaven and Earth

During the month of May, I ask my tinies to bring flowers to the Blessed Virgin Mary on our prayer table. I love the look of joy and wonderment as they place their flowers on her table. I tell them about how Mary is so kind, gentle, and loving. She is our mother in Heaven. 

One little girl brought in her smaller version of our big Mary statue to add to the table. 

They love to honor her and ask her to pray for us. 

Hail, holy Queen enthroned above, oh Maria.

Hail, mother of mercy and of love, oh Maria.

Triumph all ye cherubim, Sing with us ye seraphim.

Heaven and earth resound the hymn.

Salve, Salve, Salve Regina.

Ask Me Monday

Ask Me Monday

Are time outs appropriate?

Young children, along with their need for exploration and discovery, also need structure and boundaries. Environments with no limits can overwhelm children. So, while you don't have to be a warden with discipline, setting clear expectations and consistent consequences will help children learn, keep them safe, and help them feel cared for and secure.

Time outs are appropriate for young children. It can be a trick to figure out in which circumstances a time out is needed, and when should behavior be ignored or treated differently.

My rule of thumb for time out is that when a child seems to be out of control of their actions (too excited, worked up, screaming and unable to talk, crying, etc.) a time out is necessary.

If a child is refusing to do a task, and looking to control a situation by deciding not to participate, time out would not be appropriate, because in that case, giving a time out may actually be a reward for the goal of their behavior.

Time outs should remove a child from a situation where they are not handling themselves appropriately.

The time out can last for as long as the child is old (4 year olds should not have longer than a 4 minute time out).

Time outs can be parent/teacher established, or child established. If a child is not working through a problem and getting overly worked up, or if they are getting overly excited, you can sit them down and allow him to decide when he is ready to get back up. "When you are calm, you may come back and join us."

However, sometimes a time out can be a positive reward to challenging behavior. If a child refuses to clean up during clean up time, and he is put in time out, he is being rewarded by letting others clean up for him.

Instead, the rule should be that we will not do anything else until the toys are picked up. Then, leave that child alone until they have completed their task. I have had children sit and stare at the toys for several minutes, but if the only option is to clean up before we move on, they will eventually do the job and move on.

Sometimes, parents can get caught up in trying to give their children choices. While choices are great for establishing independence, children need to be guided to making good, positive choices for themselves. "Your choice is to clean up the toys now and have time to do a puzzle before bed, or to whine about cleaning, and have no time for a puzzle before bed."

Either way, the toys are getting cleaned up, you see?

When a time out is warranted, a defined space for the child to sit and calm down is important. The length of time should be no longer than the number of minutes per years of age. When the timer goes off, it is important to readdress why the child was in time out, and remind them what the expected behavior is. "You are in time out because you were not taking turns with the toy. Next time, you need to ask, 'When you're done, may I have a turn?' And then wait until she hands the toy to you." Have the child apologize, give them a hug, and send them back to play.

Allowing children time to regain control of their actions and emotions is very important. Even as adults, we regulate our own time outs. Teaching children about their own limits, and helping them identify when they are getting out of hand and giving them space to work through it will help them throughout life. It's not being a mean mommy--it's giving helpful guidance to being a loving, capable adult.

Earth Day in PreK

Okay I'm incredibly late but in prek we like to celebrate things by the week, not the day, so here's what we did on earth day! 

We started with a bit of discussion and collecting our prior knowledge of the earth. 

We have been discussing spring and life a lot anyway, so Earth seemed to fit right in. We talked about how the earth takes care of us (plants, food, water--it was a bit baffling to my tinies that swimming was not the main purpose for water--and animals).

We then discussed why it was also important for us to take care of the earth in return. 

To celebrate earth day, I thought of the most earthy item I could think of--the earth worm. 

As the April showers have been rolling in with fairly consistent patterns, it is not rare for us to see quite a few wiggly earth worms on our stroll to the playground. 

All the tinies usually squat down and stare and fight for a front row spot to observe the little guys. I always encourage them, "look with your eyes!" So that no one steps on or squishes it.

Earth day seemed like a great time to explore earth worms. So, with a little brown paint, some sensory gummy worms, a little memory and imagination, we made earth worm paintings. 

First, I had the tinies copy down the word "WORM" in a green marker. Then, they got to grab a gummy worm, run him through the "mud," or brown paint, and wiggle and squirm all over their papers. 

The tinies loved the combination of sensory, art, and play with our worm paintings. 

We also used vocabulary to describe what the worms felt like. Slippery, bumpy, slimy, gooey, disgusting, wet, weird! They compared the gummy worms to real worms they have observed. We discussed how worms move through dirt and let oxygen into the soil to help plants grow. 

The next day, we created spring flowers with coffee filters and added a worm to our picture to remember how they help the plants! 

 

They really had a lot of fun! We will be covering earth throughout the week, and next week will be space week, so our knowledge of earth as a planet will continue to grow! 

Ask Me Monday

Okay, getting back to town and things in order from our wonderful Easter weekend with family!

Thought I'd get a quick Ask Me Monday post in before I hit the hay before schools starts back tomorrow bright and early! Luckily, my husband has off work tomorrow, so he can drive me--it makes getting up and out of bed early a little more fun with a friend!

Anyway, here's this week's question:

1. Can you give a run down on the birth center process (do I just show up for the birth or do I do check ups there)? I'm pretty clueless when it comes to that but definitely willing to learn/give it a try.

This is a common question--birth centers are for more than just birth! 

They will do all prenatal visits and are on-call for you throughout your pregnancy just like a doctor. When considering your birth location, go take a tour of your local birth center. You will learn a lot more about what they do! 

A birth center can basically do anything a hospital can do to deliver your baby--except cut the baby out. Many times, once people tour a birth center, their fears are relieved! Patient volume is typically lower, you get to speak directly with the midwife, and questions are welcomed. The beauty of midwifery, in my opinion, is that a midwife has time to dedicate to you and wants you to understand what to expect so that you will be empowered to trust in the birth process and your body to complete it. I know many people who have gone into birth centers unsure--even skeptical--and come out feeling much more confident in them than before. 

What's more is that all your appointments are in one place, (usually except sonograms), you deal with the same small staff at every visit, (usually the same person), and they have time to make you feel like the only person in the world while you're there. Check your insurance plan--I think many people assume they are not covered for a birth center birth, but many are pleasantly surprised that their plan does, in fact, cover it. 

2. Should I hire a doula if I have a midwife? 

Yes. A midwife is a trained, medical birth professional. A doula is non-medical. If you are delivering at a birth center, your midwife will likely be in and out of the room, and come in actively during the pushing phase. Before that, she will check in on you, do intermittent heart monitoring and things of that sort, but you will be left alone with whoever else is at your birth. 

A doula is a NON-MEDICAL birth supporter. She knows and understands birth, but is there strictly for assistance, support, carrying out pain relief techniques, and practical help (another set of hands). She stays with the mother and works with her and her birth partner to successfully birth baby. A doula may meet you at the birth center, or before-hand at your home, depending on how your birth goes. She will stay with you throughout birth. A doula is also great to have around if dad or your birth partner needs to use the restroom or wants to step out for a minute so that the laboring mother is never left alone. She will know when to call the midwife into the room as well, if necessary. When a laboring mother says or does things during birth, a good doula will understand what is okay and what is not, whereas an unexperienced dad or birth partner may feel panicked. 

A doula and a midwife have two completely separate roles, but work beautifully together as a birthing team. If you are planning a birth at a birth center (or at home), ask your midwife for suggestions of local doulas for you to contact/use.

Let Your Tiny Artist Go!

Children come into my preschool classroom with a broad array of interests, abilities, skills, and curiosities. It is a challenge every day to come up with ways to engage each of them to keep them busy and happy.

Recently, we have been doing our "Care Bear" program to encourage caring for others, and being friends to each other. The Care Bear, Sunshine Bear, tells me who he wants to go home with at the end of each day, and that child gets to go home. Then, the next day they come back and share a drawing and pictures of their day together.

It shocked me that after the first four nights in a row, this is what came back:

Notice anything? 

They are all done in PEN! Black, boring pen. 

Now, I know that many times tinies want to try things that adults do, and there is nothing wrong with them exploring how to use a pen. 

However, this made me wonder how many parents have art supplies readily available to their tinies? 

In my classroom, we are ALWAYS allowed to draw and color. At all times, there are markers, crayons, and scrap paper 'at the ready.'

"The pointy crayons are always a hot commodity!"

Young children are developing vocabulary, honing their skills, and building up to do great things. They are bursting with creativity. Coloring teaches fine motor skills, pre-writing abilities, communication (ever ask a child to tell you about what they made?!), and innovation. 

The world seems to be all about "readiness" for little ones. Kindergarten readiness; reading readiness; in order to be "ready" they have to have practiced! 

Encourage your little to color every day. It is a great way to calm down. When I have students who are getting too worked up, I simply ask them to "go sit and color until [they] feel calm." Sitting and coloring is soothing--and when I feel too worked up, I sometimes even sit and color with my tinies! Plus, it's just a great thing to do while you chat with them, listen to them, and find out what they are really interested in "these days."

Designate a small area in your home to be a "craft corner." It does not have to be extravagant--but chunky crayons and colorful markers are all you need. Put old scrap paper or junk mail in a basket nearby, and voila! You have a place for your children to express themselves anytime they want! 

If your child does not seem interested, find new items to put out--try letting them decorate a cereal box or color a coloring book. Have them sit before nap or bedtime as a "calming" activity. Getting that time to color is crucial! And like I said, while pens are okay to play with once in a while, crayons are thicker for small hands to grasp appropriately, and the colors are stimulating and exciting; inviting them back over and over to create new artwork. 

Joy! Easter Joy!

It is Holy Week in the liturgical calendar. As a Catholic preschool teacher, I always feel completely prepared--and yet completely unprepared to discuss the difficult road to the cross which leads to the epitome of our faith with a bunch of squirmy 4 year olds.

While we have mentioned the cross before;  never does the story become more real than on Holy Week. My classroom bookshelves are filled with books with happy yellow bindings with cutesy, children's writing on the cover. They have various titles, but are all essentially called, "The First Easter Story for Children." I always grab them, fooled by the cheerfulness of the cover, and sit down to read. And, every time, it's the story of the betrayal, the condemnation, and the crucifixion. Never until the very last page does He rise from the dead, and everything becomes happy. Half of me wishes that with these little ones I could just skip over the suffering.

But that is the purpose. You cannot get to the resurrection without the crucifixion.

So, I read the books. Judas betrays Jesus. Jesus pleads for strength in Gethsemane. Peter's 3 denials. As I read, I pause often to examine the little faces. Some look wrinkled with worry; others confused. I constantly reiterate to them, "But, Jesus wasn't worried, was he?"

"No," my class replies. It may not be fun, but Jesus is doing what God needs him to do for us. 

Jesus is arrested and brought to Caiaphas, then Pontius Pilate. Pilate offers to the people Barrabus or Jesus. The crowd shouts for the crucifixion of our Lord.

"But, was Jesus worried?"

"No!" the tinies reply. Jesus is doing what God needs him to do for us.

No matter how simply the book is written, perhaps the more simply it is written, I feel myself getting goosebumps and a lump start to grow in my throat. The crown of thorns is adorned to his head. Jesus climbs the hill to Calvary. A man named Simon is pulled from the crowd to help him.

"Wouldn't it be so wonderful to help Jesus carry his cross?"

Delighted eyes quietly nod back at me.

Finally, Jesus is hung on the cross with thieves on either side of him. One mocks him and asks him to save himself and them if he is truly the son of God. He doesn't understand--that's what Jesus is already doing. The other thief asks Jesus to remember him when he gets to Heaven. Jesus replies, "Today, you will be with me in Heaven."

"Why is Jesus on the cross?"

"So that we can go to Heaven." 

Jesus forgives from the cross.

"Is it hard to forgive someone who is being mean to you?"

"Yes!" We can all relate to that--four through 104.

"Yes. But that's what Jesus did, and it's what He expects us to do."

He cries out, hangs his head, and dies. Joseph of Arimathea puts his body in a tomb and rolls a big, heavy stone in front of it.

At this point, we pause to count the days Jesus was dead. How many days did he say He would be gone for? Three. So, Friday (1) Saturday (2) then Sunday (3).

I turn the page. This page usually has a beautiful sunrise with pinks and yellows and purples streaked across it. I lower my voice. "Early in the morning, just before dawn, Mary and the other Mary went to the tomb!" Jesus is not there!

He is...

"RISEN!" The tinies screech, outstretching their arms, smiles on their faces. 

Joy! Easter joy!

They run to tell the disciples, and Jesus stays with them for "40 days and 40 nights" before being taken up; body and soul {like He is on an elevator!} into Heaven.

What a Savior. What a miracle. What a sacrifice.

My students really enjoy the story of Easter. It seems in the last week and a half we have read every version of the Easter story ever created. Every time they have questions. Sometimes, the questions are difficult. But the Easter story is a story of joy! Do not let your tinies get caught up in the death of Jesus.

Was he worried?

No! He knew He was going to rise again on the third day. He knew it was what He was called to do.
And that's exactly what He did.

"Oh, you can't keep Jesus shut in a grave;

Shut in a grave! Shut in a grave!

Oh, you can't keep Jesus shut in a grave

'Cause He rose again on Easter day!"

After reading the story a few times, we talked about how Jesus might have looked on Easter. We looked at a few pictures, and then drew our own pictures.

Resurrected Christ!

Jesus in his new life! (He got a dog??!)

"Jesus leaving the empty tomb"

Jesus and Mary at the cross

 Jesus Christ is Risen Today! Alleluia!

Tiny Milestones: Peek-a-boo, Tiny!

Did you know that playing peek-a-boo teaches babies object permanence? That just because you disappear for a second doesn't mean you're not coming back. And they even discover--maybe mommy is just behind her hands! Or around that corner?

Babies typically develop this skill around 8 months.

To test your tiny's knowledge of object permanence, find a toy they are interested in and play with it. While they are playing, take the toy and put it under a pillow.

Did you know that typically, babies under about 8 months of age will not move the pillow to look for the toy. In fact, they will not even look for the toy. They will just assume the toy is gone--evaporated into thin air.

If your baby moves the pillow, she has mastered object permanence! This means, she is able to hold a visual representation of the object in her mind, and understand that just because she can't see it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Yay for reaching tiny milestones!

Ask Me Monday!

Okay, another Monday and a new set of questions! 

Please remember to send questions to sarafaith42@gmail.com or post to our Raising Tinies Facebook wall. "Like" us on Facebook to see new posts, as well!

1. Can you elaborate on tongue thrust reflex? 

Tongue thrust reflex is a reflex newborns have to protect themselves from choking. Anything "foreign" that enters their mouth is rejected by thrusting the tongue in an outward motion. The reflex typically diminishes by 6 months (but, when dealing with tinies, everything is a bit give-or-take as far as milestones go).

Have you ever tried to feed a 4 month old cereal? Then, you have most definitely observed the tongue thrust reflex. This is why the practice of shoveling and re-shoveling solids into a young baby's mouth is being phased out and replaced by a baby led approach. Not only is it messy and counter-productive, it is completely unnecessary to baby's diet.

The tongue thrust reflex goes away on its own, and baby will gain interest in eating solids just like mommy and daddy! Like other skills, some may take longer than others to get there. That is why baby led weaning focuses on the individual baby. There is no "right time" to start solids. When your baby eats food and enjoys it, she is ready! If you give her a bite of something, and she thrusts it back out and makes a horrible face, then there is no need to push! You'll know when she's ready! She may be curious about the food, in which case, you can hand her a bit and just let her squish it in her fingers and explore it at her own pace. All babies will eventually eat!

Force feeding solids does not get rid of tongue thrusting any sooner, and truly serves no purpose in a typical young baby's diet.

2. How do I appropriately cut food for BLW? 

Start SMALL, and start soft! Obviously, if baby has no teeth yet, stay with mushy things. When things mush easily, you can cut or just pinch off a small amount--just enough to fit on your fingertip. If things are round (like a banana) cut it into 1/4s so that each little chunk is the shape of a triangle. Avocado and other foods, including cheese, cooked pasta, meatball, soft bread, etc.--you can just slice into small bits (about 1/4 of an inch in diameter, or the size of a Cheerio). As baby gets the hang of it, you can gradually use your judgement to give bigger pieces.

Avoid foods with skins, or remove the skin before serving. I will sometimes slice an apple very thinly (the pieces fall off into circles) then I run the knife around the edges of the circle, and it make a flat "cookie." Apple is best suited for babies that have a tooth or two, though!

And, oh! I just remembered--another good first food is frozen peas! They are the perfect size to eat whole. Frozen peas (and mixed veggies) offer a unique sensory experience, and some soothing relief for teething gums. :)

3. Do you have a good lactation cookie recipe? I'm not a chocolate person. 

I have made lactation cookies for clients before and replaced the chocolate chips with raisins--I can't imagine not being a chocolate person, myself, but to each his own! ;)

The times I have made lactation cookies for clients, I have used these Major Milk Makin' Cookies from Peaceful Parenting. I typically leave out the nuts (I don't know why--just personal preference, although they definitely have some healthy fats in them!) and am a bitttt heavy handed with the butter and sugar. They usually turn out an ooey, gooey, delicious cookie, if I do say so myself! Never had any complaints--after all, they are cookies, right?! Lol...

Anyway, I first chose this recipe because it also comes with a great breakdown of the ingredients and why they are in the cookies, so I always share a print out of it with my cookie package!

4. I'm home all day with my 5 month old, and would love some ideas of what to do with her.

5 months is a fun, but tough age for moms! Babies are learning so much, and staying awake longer, but still, not actually doing much. So, the responsibility falls on mom to be the entertainer. I think many first time moms feel a bit unsure what to do with them at this age. By the time it's your second or third, you'll be so much more busy with the older one that you'll laugh you ever just sat around and stared at one baby all day.

Babies will benefit from a routine. They will like the predictability of the day, and it will help them to structure their own minds and know what to expect. Here are some fun activities to do with your baby;

1. Go for a walk to get out of the house.
2. If you're able, sit outside in the grass or on a blanket. Bring a hoppy if baby can't quite sit up yet.
3. Talk to baby. Even if you sound crazy, narrate your day. It will keep baby stimulated to listen to your voice, hear your vocabulary, and associate words with actions.
4. Mommy/Baby Workouts: Place baby tummy down on your shins and hold her arms. Lay on your back, and stretch your legs out and then bend your knees up to your chest and say, "peek-a-boo!" It'll be a challenge for your postpartum tummy and a THRILL to your baby! Of course, you can always work out your arms by lifting baby over your head, or place baby on her back on the floor and do push ups, giving her a kiss every time you dip low!
5. Join a mommy and me if there is one in your area; you'll meet other moms with babies the same age, learn some fun songs, and get out of the house. Not to mention, baby will find all kinds of new things to try in a different environment.
6. Find something that will make noise--a xylophone, a drum, etc. Babies are learning cause and effect and "secondary circular reactions," or the way their own actions affect their environment (i.e., splashing in the bathtub shakes the water, banging a toy on a hard surface makes loud noise, and kicking a play mat shakes the hanging toys).
7. Put baby in a sling or carrier and go about your daily chores. Baby will be stimulated by watching what you do and how you do it up close and personal!
8. Sing and dance. Don't be afraid to be silly with your baby, or embarrassed of your singing voice. As mentioned in this previous post, music is important to baby's brain development.
9. Find sensory activities for baby. If you're cooking pasta for dinner, sit baby in a high chair, and put some mushy, soft pasta on her tray to play with. Just keep in mind, whatever you put out will most likely end up in the mouth, so avoid things like play-doh and paint until later. It's always fun to smear a little yogurt, avocado, pasta, or cereal around a high chair tray.
10. Read books! It is never too soon to read books. Any kind of book--reading creates vocabulary, fluency, rhythm, and basic concepts of print.

Playing on the floor mat with some noisy toys!

Structure your day according to what will work for you, but try to stick to a routine. For example;

Wake up (8)
Go outside (8:15--maybe a good time for mommy's morning coffee?)
Inside tummy time and/or Mommy/baby workout time (9:15)
Read book (9:45)
Nap (10)
Wake up
In sling/Mommy chores/Get out of the house to run errands) (11-12:30)
Music/singing/instruments (12:30)
Read book (1:00)
Stroller Ride (1:30)
Nap (2:30)
Wake up
Sensory play in high chair while mommy makes dinner (3:30/4)
Sit down and nurse baby before dinner
Eat dinner (or sit with mommy and daddy while they eat) (6:00)
Bath (7:00)
Read book (7:30)
Bed (7:45)

Exploring a giant hunk of watermelon!

Of course, your day may look completely different than this, but it's just an idea of what a day with a 5 month old may look like. You'd have to insert nursing sessions and diaper changes throughout, taking up much more time than what's shown in the template, but you get the idea!

Also, notice before each nap there is a book. Little, predictable things in your day will help your tiny adjust to the flow and know what to expect next.

Palm Sunday

My husband and I have our palms from Palm Sunday Mass tucked into the visors of his truck. They are over 3 years old, but still holding strong. It's gotten to the point where he takes a deep breath when I move it to block the sun {ahem, do my make up in the car}, and he will hold it and make sure it goes right back to its coveted location.

Alright, I forgot this picture was not even taken in his truck,
and so, no you can most definitely not see the palms because
they're not there! *Sigh...he's at work right now but I
will share a pic of our 3 year old palm crosses when he comes back!
...if I remember 

Before we left for the weekend, we read the story of Palm Sunday in preschool. We talked about how the city of Jerusalem praised Jesus and welcomed him with their palm branches--like rolling out a red carpet for him. And how on Sunday at Mass, we would get palms to wave, as well, inviting Jesus to come to us and telling him how happy we are that He is in our lives.

Palm Sunday was such a fun day to attend Mass when I was little, (okay, yes, and still! I am pretty pumped to go later today, too!) I would always have one of my big, smart, amazing sisters fold it into a cross for me (after trying to tickle their ears with it a few times) and then I would bring it home and tuck it behind a picture of Mary I had in my room, put it in my sock drawer, etc. Each year I think I found a new place to stash it.

"Palm Sunday is like a glimpse of Easter. It's a little bit joyful after being somber during Lent." 

- Laura Gale

Do you have any fun Palm Sunday memories or traditions? Did you do anything special to prepare your tinies for Palm Sunday this year? 

Birth Plan Template

Birth plans are important for a new mom to devise, especially before a first birth, just to get her focused on the questions that may come up during delivery.

Creating a birth plan is not writing a Bible for how your birth will go, but rather, it is a tool to think about, discuss with your caregivers, research, and form opinions on your birthing options. This way, you know the possibilities of what may come up, and if interventions become necessary, you at least understand why, and what to expect. Many mothers go in blindly, and I have spoken with a handful of clients who felt nothing short of violated during their birth.

A birth plan IS a good starting point to open conversation with your care provider. It IS a tool to get you both on the same page, and align your vision. It IS a way for you to educate yourself on your options for your birth. It IS to be addressed at prenatal appointments. If you are running into several issues with your doctor to agree to your birth plan, consider switching care providers. The nurses working at the hospital where the doctor works will follow typical protocol, and you will not have the time on your tiny's birthday to discuss your options with them. Be sure hospital protocol is similar to your plan, and if it isn't, find out why.

A birth plan is NOT something your doctor will have time to read the day of your birth. It is NOT a manual for care to give your nurses at your birth. It is NOT a guaranteed form of communication with your birth team.

So, in hopes of avoiding negative scenarios, here is a brief birth plan I use as a starting point for my clients.

                         Pampered Mama Doula Services

     That special power of loving that belongs to a woman is seen most clearly when she becomes a mother. –Mother Teresa

www.pamperedmama.weebly.com

Pampered Mama Birth Plan Template

This template is a tool used to plan for your IDEAL birth, and a visual guide for things to discuss before labor with your doctor to be sure you are comfortable and happy with your birthing experience.

Please Circle One for Each Category

Place of Delivery:   Hospital                   Birth Center        Home

Desired Birth:         Vaginal                          Caesarian  

Hep Lock?:              Yes                              No       

Pain Medication:   Yes (Epidural)           No                             Undecided

Induction:               Yes                              No                             Undecided

Pitocin:                    Yes                              No                             Undecided

“Water Breaking”: Artificial                    Natural 

Fetal Heart Monitoring: Interval              Constant            Undecided

*With the use of an epidural and/or Pitocin, your caregiver may not give the option of interval heart monitoring

Walking During Labor:                Yes                              No                           Undecided

*With the use of an epidural and/or Pitocin, you may not be able to move from the bed. If you feel it is important that you move around, you will need to tell your doctors and nurses beforehand.

Time to Push:                     On my back           Other          See what feels right

            If using an epidural:         _____ Lower dosage when fully dilated & wait to feel urge to push

                                               _____ Keep the medication and let doctor direct the pushing stage

Caregiver Role in birth:  Hands-On                  Hands-Off (mother left alone and catches baby)      

         Other: ___________________________________________________________

Pushing Method: Mother-Led Pushing         Directed/Coached Pushing          

Water Birth?:    Yes                                              No 

Episiotomy:        Never                                         Indifferent

Umbilical Cord: Clamped & Cut Immediately  Allowed to Stop Pulsing (Delayed)

Baby:                   Brought to Warmer                  Placed on Mama’s Chest

Other Things to Discuss:

Family/friends Present?              Yes                                          No                  

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Meal During or After Birth? Can I eat during labor where I am birthing?

           _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Breastfeeding?:                             Yes                                          No      

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Do you plan to waive any newborn vaccines/tests? 

(What is administered to my baby at birth? Why?)

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Baby’s First Bath?             Immediate               Do not wash baby

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Additional Thoughts/Requests:

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Wacky Wednesday

It all began with the shoe on the wall. A shoe on the wall? Shouldn't be there at all! ...And that's how Wacky Wednesday began!  

--Dr. Seuss, Wacky Wednesday 

...and a Wacky day in prek it was! 

So it goes with tinies... 😜

How wacky was your Wednesday? 

Your Tinies Are Lucky to Have You!

"Your kids are so lucky to have you! You're so patient and sweet!" My substitute aide said as she walked out of my classroom today.

Her comment took me back. It was very nice, and I appreciated it for sure! But I didn't know I agreed.

It had been a day that had felt less than perfect--several time outs were given; it felt every time I turned around, there was someone not following directions; one tiny cried for ten minutes because she didn't win a game of red light/green light; another refused to use soap when washing his hands after the bathroom, and the whole class was stuck standing in the hallway until he lathered up; nap time was filled with giggles, laughter and lots of "shhhh-ing;" someone got a nose bleed that dripped all over the floor; there were four ice packs given out, um-teen "warnings," one didn't get his hot lunch because we counted wrong and had to go back, and a whole wooden case of markers smashed to the ground.

All in a day's work!

So, how could this woman's takeaway from a day in my class be, "You're so patient and sweet?"

It felt like all I did was correct, redirect, and get interrupted. Nothing went exactly according to plan. I couldn't even get through a book without someone whining they couldn't see because another was propped up on his knees, although I must say 8 BILLION times a day, "Sit criss-cross applesauce!" I felt frustrated, worn out, and near my wit's end.

It reminded me of a meme I had recently seen circulating Facebook

It is so easy to feel like this after a day with your tinies. A long, wearing, trying day where nothing goes as planned. Rarely--if ever--do you get a pat on the back like the one I was fortunate enough to hear today.

But, it is an important reminder that everyone deserves to hear once in a while. "Your kids are so lucky to have you!" Not Mary Poppins, but you!

The most important thing you can do with tinies is to smile. No matter what. And--expect the unexpected. When a curve ball comes your way, sometimes, silence is the best answer. There are times when I want to scream, put everyone in time out, and sit down and cry. But, taking a moment of silence helps me to assess each situation as an isolated incident. They are not trying to throw a potty break right in the middle of your beautifully planned morning. Take a breath, smile, and then answer, "Sure. We can go back inside [where we just came from] so you can use the potty [even though I asked you if you needed to go right before we left.]" You may feel like Cruella Deville on the inside, but all your kids will see is the wonderful mommy you are picturing and striving to be.

The number of mishaps that happen in a day with tinies has  n o t h i n g  to do with your abilities as a parent, teacher, or leader.

Tinies are messy, silly, curious, impulsive--dare I say, strange at times. They make some bizarre choices, and there are inevitably days when your little one, for example, decides soap is unnecessary.

Stick to your guns. Smile. Be confident. "Okay, well, you can come out of the bathroom after you've washed your hands!"

And then, be silent. It is useless to argue. There is nothing more to say. So we wait. We smile. Even though inside we are dyingggg. "Just wash your hands, kid!"

But, like I said, the less you say, the better. Eventually, the hands get washed, the day moves on, and it finally comes to an end. Tomorrow, there will be new challenges; new ideas, new bizarre decisions, arguments, tears, injuries, and spills.

But at the end of the day, your kids are lucky to have you. If anyone can help them through these years, it is you! Keep it up! You are so patient and sweet! And when you're not--just be quiet and smile--and everyone will still think you are! :)

Ask Me Monday

1. What's a good Baby Led Weaning first food?

Baby led weaning, (BLW), is a way of introducing solids, that, essentially, skips the icky part of baby feeding! It brings babies straight from breastmilk to real food.

The whole "crunchy" essence of BLW is to let your baby choose his/her first food. It would be whenever she starts reaching for/showing interest in food. Of course, her options must be within reason.

My personal favorite BLW first food is avocado--it's high in healthy fats that your tiny needs, it's mushy, and it's easy to hold. Another similar option is bananas.

The beauty of BLW is that you can really introduce whatever small, easy to eat items from your own plate to baby's plate. Eating a salad? You could put a tiny piece of a mushy tomato (without the skin) on baby's tray and see what she does. Cheerios, fruits, veggies, mashed potatoes--anything small, hand held, and mushy or dissolvable.

Before a year, tinies will really eat for "practice" and "fun" as opposed to eating for real nutrition. Before 12 months of age, breastmilk is all they really need.

*Remember to avoid honey before 12 months!*

How do we know she's really ready?

You'll know she's ready when she can grab things and put them in her mouth. If you do give her a chunk of banana, and she puts it in her mouth, makes a funny face and spits it out, that's okay! Like I said, it's not really for nutrition at this point, but more for practice and enjoyment. The days of shoveling purees from baby's chin and bib back into her mouth because she "HAS to finish this jar of food" are looonnnng in the past! If she's ready, she'll eat it! If she's not, she won't! Simple as that.

Should I breastfeed beforehand?

Always breastfeed beforehand! Again, eating is for fun and practice. You don't want to give a frustrated, hungry baby food because if they are fussing or hungry they may aspirate or choke. Feed baby when she is in a good mood, and interested in what you're eating!

Eating food is fun for tinies! It's a sensory experience, fine motor practice, 

hand-eye coordination, and play time!

Every Monday, I will be happy to answer reader questions! Email questions to sarafaith42@gmail.com 

Topics can include NFP, pregnancy, newborns, toddlers, all the way through preschool.

Look forward to hearing from you!

"Unfolding" Tinies

After the birth of her first tiny, one of my former clients always used to joke, "My new favorite question is, "Is this normal?" In fact, when I get together with my other friends with kids, I feel like that's all we do is bounce back and forth, "She started doing this...is that normal? See this little thing here...is this normal?"

It was a funny way to put it, but it's true. I think many new parents of tinies spend a lot of time staring at the new arrival and checking and double checking everything they see.

One concern that I hear that should be put to rest is what I like to call the "unfolding" of the tinies. When babies are born, they are, in my terms, "all crunched up." Tiny newborns have curved spines, with their hips tucked under, and their legs usually curled up--knees even with their hips. They stay in this position for up to a few weeks after birth. They will naturally "unfold" with time.

I have seen mothers take time to stretch their babies; straightening their legs out trying to "unfold" them. This is simply unnecessary, and could even cause issues for baby's back and hip development. All babies are curled up after birth in their fetal position; back rounded forward, hips under, knees tucked up, arms crunched in.

Also, when swaddling, babies should stay in their natural position, and the swaddle should hold them in their "crunched up" state. Forcing a baby flat before tightly swaddling will cause back problems. When swaddling, lay baby down let them adjust to their "favorite" crunched up position, and then tuck the ends of the blanket over and under. A swaddle should mimic the feeling baby had in the uterus.

When carrying your brand new tiny, make sure that their back is curved, and their tiny hiney is tucked under. This is how he will be most comfortable. When they startle, or are first picked up, they may arch backwards, but will then curl back forward.

As baby grows, it is still important to be sure their hips and backs are supported. Be sure that whatever kind of carrier you get, that your tiny's hips will be in a seated position, with knees slightly higher. This will keep baby comfy, and allow hip joints to continue to develop regularly.

They do make wonderful carriers that will keep your baby in that seated position--NOT ALL CARRIERS ARE DESIGNED THIS WAY. The Ergo is one option that many new moms love, but if you are not looking to drop over $100 on a carrier (or at least maybe not at first), another option is a Mei Tei carrier, which also will give your baby hip support--and for a much cheaper price tag.

No need to "unfold" me!

Tiny Relationships

"The relationships you have with them now will be the relationships you have with them forever."

"Mrs. Schmidt! Mrs. Schmidt, guess what? I went to the beach and I was in the water and my sister was there--well, she was, like, up by my mom but they were eating watermelon. I don't really like watermelon. But my sister had some and it got red all over her face {giggle, giggle, giggle} but mommy wasn't happy and, okay, anyway, there was a BIIIGGG wave and I tried to jump and daddy was up above and had to--OH MY GOSH {giggle, giggle} he pulled me up and I couldn't see and it was like, I was blind? I don't know it hurt my eyes and I had to go get a towel. But did you know my towel has Hello Kitty on it? Yeah. It's pinkkkk and has like, little, ummmm....spots orrrr {gasp!} POLKA DOTS! I really love it. My sister has a different one though but um anyway..."

This is how every. morning. in my classroom starts. It was no different this week coming back from Spring Break. All 17 bright, shiny tiny faces were bursting with stories about seeing snow, going to the beach, playing with cousins, theme parks, seeing new movies, and, my personal favorite, the visit to the American Girl doll store. 

Their stories were all scattered--not the most fluent, or enthralling stories. I heard fragmented bits of their vacations. Favorite part of the plane ride? "We got to watch TV!" Favorite part of the visit to the Statue of Liberty? "We were inside her head!" They definitely have an interesting perspective on life. 

As I began to drown out the vacation stories to consider my lesson plans for the day, send my attendance, find the paint brushes for our morning project, I heard a tiny voice asking, "Can we?" I snapped back to attention and had to ask my student to repeat herself. 

With a puzzled look on her face, she said it again, "Can we play with the kitchen?" asked the tiny girl. "Yes, kitchen is open," I replied, and she scurried off to create new worlds of wonder in our play kitchen. 

Just then, a phrase my mom had taught me rang in my head. "The relationships you have with them now are the same relationships you will have with them forever." 

It is so easy to not pay attention. The continuous recounts of the movie Frozen; the stories that seem part made up about puppies, kittens, hot air balloons! They mean seemingly nothing. Nothing at all. However, if we don't listen to them now, when will we start listening to them? Will it be too late?

Tinies are constantly learning. Especially through the preschool years, they are paying attention to everything. They are learning how the world works. These years are crucial. Their worldview is being shaped and molded. 

And guess what, if mom and dad don't listen now, it won't be worth even telling them later. 

No doubt, sometimes it is a plastic smile, and some mindless nodding and "ooh-ing and ahh-ing," but next time your tiny dances into the room with a big smile ready to tell you about her day, don't send her away. Listen. React. Ask questions.

Based on your response now, your tiny will decide to continue telling you every part of his day--or not. As they grow, and problems get bigger, you want them to be able to come to you. And even though listening to the story about being put in time out at school today doesn't have anything to do with the issues in their preteen and high school years, your reaction to their stories is what they will remember. 

"The relationships you have with them now will be the relationships you have with them forever."

Tiny Changes for a Better Birth

I have never been a fan of hospitals. In fact, I was ordered to go to one for an x-ray when I was about 9 years old, and I hid under the backseat of my mom's minivan and refused to get out. She jokes, "That is the day I discovered the hospital has valet parking."

"You can park it if you can get her out," she said as she dropped the keys in the young man's hand.

It did make me mortified enough to shimmy out when he opened the hatch back and awkwardly plead, "Err...Umm..Will you get out?"

I have, on the other hand, always been a fan of the birth world. I first started watching TLC's "A Baby Story" around middle school. I learned a whole new set of vocabulary words; epidural, magnesium, pitocin, caesarean section, spinal block, catheter, rupture membranes, breaking water, engaged, effaced, cervical checks,  etc. Probably not the typical vocabulary of a 7th grader.

I watched baby after baby be born, and while I appreciated the miracle of it, I cringed at the setting. It stressed me out beyond belief to think about having my own babies one day. Being strapped into a bed, getting poked, prodded, "checked."

It was also on "A Baby Story" that I first discovered home birth. I flipped the channel on, and I noticed a beautiful difference in this episode. No one bothered the mother, she and her husband hugged, swayed, and worked together to birth their baby. There was no nurse demanding her what to do, no one counted or directed her pushing, she could walk around and sit in warm water, and change positions.

My eyes brightened and I thought, now that is how I will have my babies!

Now that I have gone through birth doula training, I am more affirmed in my thoughts. I have learned the reasons for different interventions, and understand the hierarchy. Of course, I know there are situations where it is necessary to birth in a hospital, and in those situations, I thank God that medicine has made it to where those babies can live! If I cannot give birth at home, I will need a lot of prayers, but I will do what I need to do to keep my baby safe.

I just feel that while everyone seems to think that the complications with birth are the norm, it is just the opposite. The hospital has a slip and slide effect of interventions that quickly limit options for birthing mothers.

I've compiled a brief list of hospital myths that lead to this saga of unsuccessful birthing in the US.

"Baby wouldn't engage, so I had to have a c-section." I hear things like this a lot; slight variations, of course. But if we look back to the entire birth, it may have been such an easy solution. Perhaps, rhe hospital strapped mom up to a heart monitor belt, making mom stuck in the bed. She could not move, therefore, baby cannot move. Mom's physical position has a lot to do with how baby is able to progress in labor.

"My labor just stalled out." Again, this is probably a result of sitting in bed, people constantly coming in and out, a mother who feels uncomfortable or nervous. It is also likely caused by the administration of an epidural. Many hospitals swear there are no side effects of the epidural, but please do your homework. (Sneak peek: Prolonged labor is a definite side effect, though I have heard many health professionals swear it will not affect how long it takes.)

"My fluid levels were low, so they had to deliver my baby." Fluid levels do decrease as you near birth. It is normal. Moms need to stay well hydrated--very well hydrated. However, just because your doctor marks a lower fluid level later in pregnancy does not always cause need for concern. Ask what your fluid level actually is. More on fluid levels here.

"My baby was too big." Babies grow as you near birth! The simplest explanation I have heard is that, unless otherwise affected (i.e., diabetes) your body will not create a baby that is too big to birth. A baby may be in a poor birthing position, but as I've written before, size approximations can vary by up to 2 lbs! Plus, there are many ways of helping even a big baby get into ideal birthing position.

"I pushed for two hours and couldn't get the baby out, so I had to have a c-section." I think everyone feels for this mother. Even Larry the Cable Guy sees her frustration. This goes back to the question of what other interventions were given that would cause her to not be able to push her own baby out? Epidurals are a large contributor to this problem. If you cannot feel your contractions, you cannot push with your contractions. You are working with a nurse to birth your baby, but your body already knows how to do this! Pushing with an epidural, many times, is highly ineffective. You cannot feel when your body is trying to move baby, so you are trying to move baby all on your own, and it just does not work well. This type of pushing can also cause mom to push too hard and puts her at much higher risk for tearing. In addition, if you are pushing and nothing is happening, it may be beneficial to change positions. Laying on your back, as hospitals love to have you do, is not the most ergonomic pushing position. You are working against gravity to bring your baby down. However, mom may not have the choice to move off of her back because of epidural, IVs, catheters, etc. restricting her movement.

"It just wasn't happening." Labor, especially a labor of a first tiny, can be a long process. It can take time. Hospitals, let's face it, don't "have all day." In their minds, it is in your best interest to get the baby out and send you home! (That is, after all, what you came for, correct?) I always recommend mothers labor at home for as long as they can before going to the hospital. Once you show up, it's like you're on the clock. Pitocin, cervadil, or cytotec will certainly be offered, (or, just used) to "speed things along." These drugs cause labor to be more painful and intense, quicker than your body is going (contractions one on top of the other instead of giving breaks in between), which causes a hyper-stimulated uterus--potentially leading to uterine rupture. Constant fetal monitoring is required with the administration of these drugs, so the minute you get started on them, you are in the bed and unable to move. (see previous for why movement in labor is important to avoid other interventions)

"I couldn't take the pain." As I said, the synthetic creation of labor using induction drugs is much more intense and painful than a natural labor would feel. The uterus is put into overdrive, and pain is much higher. Plus, you are stuck in the bed because of the fetal monitoring, unable to get in water for relief, unable to move around, switch positions, or have your husband or doula assist with back rubbing or massage. It is much harder to go through labor this way, and so women think it is too much and they get the epidural. Had their labor been a natural progression, they may have felt differently. Many times, as stated above, the epidural causes tears, longer pushing phase, stalled labor (meaning you'll probably get another dose of pitocin or other drug) and you cannot move and baby may not have space to move down and out if you are sitting upright.

"They had to bring my baby to the warmer to regulate her body temperature after birth." This may be my very least favorite, yet incredibly common hospital protocol. Did you know that the best way to get baby to regulate his temperature and heart rate after birth is through skin to skin contact with mom (and/or dad?) Babies who are placed on mom's chest after birth are healthier and score higher APGARs. In addition, when they whisk baby away right away, they clamp the cord as soon as baby is born. This boggles my mind. When baby is born, his blood volume decreases as he makes his way through the birth canal. The placenta then sends the rest of the oxygenated, iron-rich blood back to the baby. This blood that is sent to baby after birth contains enough iron to sustain baby's iron deposits for about 9 months. This means, that breastfeeding moms do not need to worry about baby's iron levels. I simply do not understand why hospitals continue to clamp the active cords and take baby away from mom. Not only does baby need mom, but mom needs baby! The smell of a newborn triggers the hormone in mom's body that it is now safe to release the placenta. Also, a baby's stepping reflex is not just to make cute videos like this, but when placed tummy to tummy with mommy, the baby will use this reflex to demonstrate a "breast crawl," finding food for themselves, and gently massaging mom's uterus as it births the placenta.

I could go on for days about each of these issues, but it breaks my heart to see hospital protocols that override mom's desire for natural labor time and time again. If you do not do your own research, you will not have the birth you want. I have seen first hand women who go in with the impression they will do it naturally, and the hospital's string of interventions leave mom powerless, exasperated, and desperate. I do not believe it is the hospital's intent to do this. They are doing their jobs! They want the baby out, you do too, why not just get him out? Hospital staff is not trained in natural birth. They are trained in medical birth.

Know your options before you decide what will be best for you. Understand the medicines you are receiving and their risks. Make educated choices. If you want to be able to move during labor, do not get hooked up to the pitocin. If you want to let your water break on its own, tell your doctor and your nurses. If you are looking to avoid caesarean, be sure you will be able to move around in labor. If you want intermittent fetal hear monitoring so that you can move around, ask for it. If you want to delay cord clamping, make sure they will let you first. Do not assume your care provider has the same vision of birth as you--you have to talk to them. If your doctor is unwilling to discuss your options, or says things like, "We'll worry about that later," find a new care provider.

If you are low-risk and truly looking for a respected, natural birth, my honest suggestion is to find a setting that is not medical. Midwives who deliver at home or a free standing birth center will most likely have the same vision as you, therefore, less conversations and less stress required.  :)