Tiny Relationships

"The relationships you have with them now will be the relationships you have with them forever."

"Mrs. Schmidt! Mrs. Schmidt, guess what? I went to the beach and I was in the water and my sister was there--well, she was, like, up by my mom but they were eating watermelon. I don't really like watermelon. But my sister had some and it got red all over her face {giggle, giggle, giggle} but mommy wasn't happy and, okay, anyway, there was a BIIIGGG wave and I tried to jump and daddy was up above and had to--OH MY GOSH {giggle, giggle} he pulled me up and I couldn't see and it was like, I was blind? I don't know it hurt my eyes and I had to go get a towel. But did you know my towel has Hello Kitty on it? Yeah. It's pinkkkk and has like, little, ummmm....spots orrrr {gasp!} POLKA DOTS! I really love it. My sister has a different one though but um anyway..."

This is how every. morning. in my classroom starts. It was no different this week coming back from Spring Break. All 17 bright, shiny tiny faces were bursting with stories about seeing snow, going to the beach, playing with cousins, theme parks, seeing new movies, and, my personal favorite, the visit to the American Girl doll store. 

Their stories were all scattered--not the most fluent, or enthralling stories. I heard fragmented bits of their vacations. Favorite part of the plane ride? "We got to watch TV!" Favorite part of the visit to the Statue of Liberty? "We were inside her head!" They definitely have an interesting perspective on life. 

As I began to drown out the vacation stories to consider my lesson plans for the day, send my attendance, find the paint brushes for our morning project, I heard a tiny voice asking, "Can we?" I snapped back to attention and had to ask my student to repeat herself. 

With a puzzled look on her face, she said it again, "Can we play with the kitchen?" asked the tiny girl. "Yes, kitchen is open," I replied, and she scurried off to create new worlds of wonder in our play kitchen. 

Just then, a phrase my mom had taught me rang in my head. "The relationships you have with them now are the same relationships you will have with them forever." 

It is so easy to not pay attention. The continuous recounts of the movie Frozen; the stories that seem part made up about puppies, kittens, hot air balloons! They mean seemingly nothing. Nothing at all. However, if we don't listen to them now, when will we start listening to them? Will it be too late?

Tinies are constantly learning. Especially through the preschool years, they are paying attention to everything. They are learning how the world works. These years are crucial. Their worldview is being shaped and molded. 

And guess what, if mom and dad don't listen now, it won't be worth even telling them later. 

No doubt, sometimes it is a plastic smile, and some mindless nodding and "ooh-ing and ahh-ing," but next time your tiny dances into the room with a big smile ready to tell you about her day, don't send her away. Listen. React. Ask questions.

Based on your response now, your tiny will decide to continue telling you every part of his day--or not. As they grow, and problems get bigger, you want them to be able to come to you. And even though listening to the story about being put in time out at school today doesn't have anything to do with the issues in their preteen and high school years, your reaction to their stories is what they will remember. 

"The relationships you have with them now will be the relationships you have with them forever."

Tiny Changes for a Better Birth

I have never been a fan of hospitals. In fact, I was ordered to go to one for an x-ray when I was about 9 years old, and I hid under the backseat of my mom's minivan and refused to get out. She jokes, "That is the day I discovered the hospital has valet parking."

"You can park it if you can get her out," she said as she dropped the keys in the young man's hand.

It did make me mortified enough to shimmy out when he opened the hatch back and awkwardly plead, "Err...Umm..Will you get out?"

I have, on the other hand, always been a fan of the birth world. I first started watching TLC's "A Baby Story" around middle school. I learned a whole new set of vocabulary words; epidural, magnesium, pitocin, caesarean section, spinal block, catheter, rupture membranes, breaking water, engaged, effaced, cervical checks,  etc. Probably not the typical vocabulary of a 7th grader.

I watched baby after baby be born, and while I appreciated the miracle of it, I cringed at the setting. It stressed me out beyond belief to think about having my own babies one day. Being strapped into a bed, getting poked, prodded, "checked."

It was also on "A Baby Story" that I first discovered home birth. I flipped the channel on, and I noticed a beautiful difference in this episode. No one bothered the mother, she and her husband hugged, swayed, and worked together to birth their baby. There was no nurse demanding her what to do, no one counted or directed her pushing, she could walk around and sit in warm water, and change positions.

My eyes brightened and I thought, now that is how I will have my babies!

Now that I have gone through birth doula training, I am more affirmed in my thoughts. I have learned the reasons for different interventions, and understand the hierarchy. Of course, I know there are situations where it is necessary to birth in a hospital, and in those situations, I thank God that medicine has made it to where those babies can live! If I cannot give birth at home, I will need a lot of prayers, but I will do what I need to do to keep my baby safe.

I just feel that while everyone seems to think that the complications with birth are the norm, it is just the opposite. The hospital has a slip and slide effect of interventions that quickly limit options for birthing mothers.

I've compiled a brief list of hospital myths that lead to this saga of unsuccessful birthing in the US.

"Baby wouldn't engage, so I had to have a c-section." I hear things like this a lot; slight variations, of course. But if we look back to the entire birth, it may have been such an easy solution. Perhaps, rhe hospital strapped mom up to a heart monitor belt, making mom stuck in the bed. She could not move, therefore, baby cannot move. Mom's physical position has a lot to do with how baby is able to progress in labor.

"My labor just stalled out." Again, this is probably a result of sitting in bed, people constantly coming in and out, a mother who feels uncomfortable or nervous. It is also likely caused by the administration of an epidural. Many hospitals swear there are no side effects of the epidural, but please do your homework. (Sneak peek: Prolonged labor is a definite side effect, though I have heard many health professionals swear it will not affect how long it takes.)

"My fluid levels were low, so they had to deliver my baby." Fluid levels do decrease as you near birth. It is normal. Moms need to stay well hydrated--very well hydrated. However, just because your doctor marks a lower fluid level later in pregnancy does not always cause need for concern. Ask what your fluid level actually is. More on fluid levels here.

"My baby was too big." Babies grow as you near birth! The simplest explanation I have heard is that, unless otherwise affected (i.e., diabetes) your body will not create a baby that is too big to birth. A baby may be in a poor birthing position, but as I've written before, size approximations can vary by up to 2 lbs! Plus, there are many ways of helping even a big baby get into ideal birthing position.

"I pushed for two hours and couldn't get the baby out, so I had to have a c-section." I think everyone feels for this mother. Even Larry the Cable Guy sees her frustration. This goes back to the question of what other interventions were given that would cause her to not be able to push her own baby out? Epidurals are a large contributor to this problem. If you cannot feel your contractions, you cannot push with your contractions. You are working with a nurse to birth your baby, but your body already knows how to do this! Pushing with an epidural, many times, is highly ineffective. You cannot feel when your body is trying to move baby, so you are trying to move baby all on your own, and it just does not work well. This type of pushing can also cause mom to push too hard and puts her at much higher risk for tearing. In addition, if you are pushing and nothing is happening, it may be beneficial to change positions. Laying on your back, as hospitals love to have you do, is not the most ergonomic pushing position. You are working against gravity to bring your baby down. However, mom may not have the choice to move off of her back because of epidural, IVs, catheters, etc. restricting her movement.

"It just wasn't happening." Labor, especially a labor of a first tiny, can be a long process. It can take time. Hospitals, let's face it, don't "have all day." In their minds, it is in your best interest to get the baby out and send you home! (That is, after all, what you came for, correct?) I always recommend mothers labor at home for as long as they can before going to the hospital. Once you show up, it's like you're on the clock. Pitocin, cervadil, or cytotec will certainly be offered, (or, just used) to "speed things along." These drugs cause labor to be more painful and intense, quicker than your body is going (contractions one on top of the other instead of giving breaks in between), which causes a hyper-stimulated uterus--potentially leading to uterine rupture. Constant fetal monitoring is required with the administration of these drugs, so the minute you get started on them, you are in the bed and unable to move. (see previous for why movement in labor is important to avoid other interventions)

"I couldn't take the pain." As I said, the synthetic creation of labor using induction drugs is much more intense and painful than a natural labor would feel. The uterus is put into overdrive, and pain is much higher. Plus, you are stuck in the bed because of the fetal monitoring, unable to get in water for relief, unable to move around, switch positions, or have your husband or doula assist with back rubbing or massage. It is much harder to go through labor this way, and so women think it is too much and they get the epidural. Had their labor been a natural progression, they may have felt differently. Many times, as stated above, the epidural causes tears, longer pushing phase, stalled labor (meaning you'll probably get another dose of pitocin or other drug) and you cannot move and baby may not have space to move down and out if you are sitting upright.

"They had to bring my baby to the warmer to regulate her body temperature after birth." This may be my very least favorite, yet incredibly common hospital protocol. Did you know that the best way to get baby to regulate his temperature and heart rate after birth is through skin to skin contact with mom (and/or dad?) Babies who are placed on mom's chest after birth are healthier and score higher APGARs. In addition, when they whisk baby away right away, they clamp the cord as soon as baby is born. This boggles my mind. When baby is born, his blood volume decreases as he makes his way through the birth canal. The placenta then sends the rest of the oxygenated, iron-rich blood back to the baby. This blood that is sent to baby after birth contains enough iron to sustain baby's iron deposits for about 9 months. This means, that breastfeeding moms do not need to worry about baby's iron levels. I simply do not understand why hospitals continue to clamp the active cords and take baby away from mom. Not only does baby need mom, but mom needs baby! The smell of a newborn triggers the hormone in mom's body that it is now safe to release the placenta. Also, a baby's stepping reflex is not just to make cute videos like this, but when placed tummy to tummy with mommy, the baby will use this reflex to demonstrate a "breast crawl," finding food for themselves, and gently massaging mom's uterus as it births the placenta.

I could go on for days about each of these issues, but it breaks my heart to see hospital protocols that override mom's desire for natural labor time and time again. If you do not do your own research, you will not have the birth you want. I have seen first hand women who go in with the impression they will do it naturally, and the hospital's string of interventions leave mom powerless, exasperated, and desperate. I do not believe it is the hospital's intent to do this. They are doing their jobs! They want the baby out, you do too, why not just get him out? Hospital staff is not trained in natural birth. They are trained in medical birth.

Know your options before you decide what will be best for you. Understand the medicines you are receiving and their risks. Make educated choices. If you want to be able to move during labor, do not get hooked up to the pitocin. If you want to let your water break on its own, tell your doctor and your nurses. If you are looking to avoid caesarean, be sure you will be able to move around in labor. If you want intermittent fetal hear monitoring so that you can move around, ask for it. If you want to delay cord clamping, make sure they will let you first. Do not assume your care provider has the same vision of birth as you--you have to talk to them. If your doctor is unwilling to discuss your options, or says things like, "We'll worry about that later," find a new care provider.

If you are low-risk and truly looking for a respected, natural birth, my honest suggestion is to find a setting that is not medical. Midwives who deliver at home or a free standing birth center will most likely have the same vision as you, therefore, less conversations and less stress required.  :)

Become Filled With Joy!

My husband and I are in New York City today, and at Mass the last line of the homily really resonated with me.

"If we can embrace the pain, then we will become filled with joy."

This short message reminded me, of course, of childbirth. Society's thought is to flee from the pain, to grab onto bedsides, to tense up, to medicate, anything to not feel the pain. However, I have witnessed, read, and chatted with clients about beautiful births. By embracing the pain; relaxing, humming through powerful feelings, and letting their bodies take over; by the time their tinies grace the world, they are filled with joy. Mom is free to love on, cuddle, and appreciate a perfect miracle. 

It is just like life. If we can embrace pain; challenges, bumps in the road; and let the Lord take over, we, like a new mother, will be free to love everyone we meet, and bond with our Heavenly creator! 

When you can embrace pain, you become empowered to do anything! You are not afraid because you are too filled with joy. 

Heyyyy, Get Rhythm!

Did you know that by 16 weeks pregnant, your tiny can start to hear? Singing to your tiny while you are pregnant is a great way to let baby know all is well. After birth, if you sing your baby's favorite tunes, you should notice quite a soothing reaction from your newborn.

Not only will your baby recognize songs, but if Daddy talks to your tiny before birth, baby will also turn towards dad when he talks over any other male voice when he is first born.

Music and the arts are crucial to young children's brain development. Playing music with varying tunes creates connections in your baby's brain pathways. Music can be flowing and unpredictable (like classical) or repetitive and rhythmic. It triggers the brain to work and creates bridges for your baby's neurons to travel across.

In my classroom, I create lots of opportunities for singing and making music. Children love to make noise music, and it is good for them, too!

Some must-haves, in my opinion, for tiny music sessions, are some kind of shakers, a keyboard, drums (or, just pots and pans), rhythm sticks, and a xylophone. My students also love to sing when I let them take turns with a pretend microphone I have in my classroom. Give a tiny a microphone, and all of a sudden, they're a star!

I also integrate the arts in other ways. One classroom favorite for us is to provide the students with paint and paintbrushes and play classical music. It is a quiet activity, and lasts about 10 minutes, but they make some beautiful artwork and get a lot of satisfaction out of it.

How do you integrate music into your day with tinies? 

"Let the {Tinies} Come to Me"

As I shuffled back into my seat after receiving Communion at Mass last Sunday, I dropped the kneeler and settled on my knees. Some days I bury my head in my hands to pray, other days I sing the Communion song as part of my prayer, and occasionally, I look around at the people around me also witnessing this beautiful miracle of Transubstantiation taking place in the middle of our humble, undeserving city.

This particular Sunday, an image caught my eye. While most of the congregation knelt in their pews, there was a mother standing in the very front row. She had a baby in her arms who was covered by a light poncho. Her hands were outstretched in front of her, palms up, her eyes were gently shut, and she swayed slowly back and forth in deep prayer. She stayed there like that, breastfeeding her infant--a peaceful, prayerful woman right in front of the Lord's altar.

In this moment during communion, she was completely at peace. She wasn't ashamed to be feeding her baby, she wasn't worried about what others would say, she did not take her children to a separate, shut-off area to worship. This mommy had marched her whole clan right up in front of God, himself, and was not afraid to be a mother--the work God had given her.

Jesus wants the children to come to Mass.

Satan wants to keep them away.

 "They are little," "It's difficult for them to sit still," "You can get better prayer time without them there," evil chides.

But, yet, still, Jesus calls the tinies specifically. He does not care that they cannot sit still. He does not care they may get hungry. If our children do not grow up around the Mass, how will they understand it as they grow?

My mother once told me, "Being at Mass is like sitting around a campfire. You don't have to be looking at it, or even paying attention to it for it to warm you."

We should be encouraging mothers and fathers to attend Mass with their children. It is a lot of work. They are tough years. It may even be a battle to get them in the car as they grow. But God sees all of this. He knows your heart. He did not simply say, "Children, come to me." He said, "Let the children come to me." As if he knew parents would find it difficult to get them there. But he is challenging parents to let them come.

Working in a Catholic school with preschoolers, I definitely see that my students have a beautiful understanding of faith. Children have an innate call to the Divine. It is the adults who have to let them seek that desire for God.

In short, bring your tinies to Mass. ALL are welcome.

To Have Tinies; or Not to Have Tinies--That is the Question!

My husband and I got married just a few months ago, and it has been so much fun combining our lives, buying a house, and enjoying wedded bliss!

Both being Catholic, it was no question we would not be using birth control, but that left us only ONE option. Well, two if you count the Duggars option! (Which we may get to one day, but that's another story for another time). But for now, Tommy remains in school finishing his degree and I remain teaching my preschool tinies day in and day out, so we turned to NFP, or Natural Family Planning.

We have both agreed that once we do have our own babies, I will stay home with them to eat bon bons raise them, teach them, and play with them! Meaning, until he gets a good foothold on what he wants to do, we must try to avoid (better known in the NFP world as TTA--turns out NFP people really like abbreviations!) pregnancy.

Now, some may scoff at the way that is worded. TRY to avoid pregnancy? That sounds promising! I tend not to mention it to others because I know the response I will get, "Good luck with that," "You'll have 30 kids in 10 years," "Blah blah blah."

I started keeping thorough charts back in April 2013 when we got engaged. By the time we were married, (ahem, 8 months later) I felt like a pro! I could pick up on an early ovulation, a late one, know why my cycle was longer than last month, and on and on and on! We came to our wedding night with great confidence! We knew how to do this!

Then all of a sudden, panic. What if it doesn't work? Am I ready for a baby? Was that hiccup morning sickness? Oh no! Then I made him worry, "Well I thought you said it was okay?!" he finally said to me. The books I read promised that NFP was a reflection of the Holy Trinity and marriages can be closer than ever because of the respect NFP requires within spousal love. Was I being open to life? Was I talking myself out of having a baby? Was it too late to talk myself out of it? We nervously went back and forth.

I finally told him, "Listen, it's just new. Once we get through our first month, and everything is still normal, we will feel much better about it. There is no way I am pregnant," I heard myself say. I knew it was true, and yet it still felt like a lie. I had never done this before! And now, here I am, lying to my new husband! Oh, great. How could this be good for our relationship? I wondered.

It was a Tuesday morning, the last day of our honeymoon, and we went back to Corpus Christi where we had gotten married just 4 days before. Tommy forgot my wedding ring at the ceremony (again, another story for another time) so we were bringing it back to Fr. Trout for him to bless. We were a minute late so we shuffled into the quiet, nearly empty church as Father read the readings. As he stepped away from the pulpit to give his homily, he smiled at us and asked us to come to the altar! I turned bright red as we stood up and walked down the long center aisle. Fr. Trout then called another couple and their four children to come up, as well. Unbeknownst to Tommy and I, the other couple was renewing their wedding vows. Fr. Trout explained the situation to the people, re-blessed both of our rings, and had us repeat our vows again, as we did at the wedding, and slide them onto each other's fingers. Then, the older couple renewed their own vows.

When they were finished, Fr. Trout acclaimed, "4 days," motioning to us, "And 40 years" motioning to the older couple. I grabbed Tommy's hand and smiled at the couple who smiled back. Then, Fr. Trout turned to us, looked us right in the eye, and said, "You two will have children!" My insides tightened. Instantly, I was sure he knew something I didn't know. He continued on with his kind words, but I just felt sick--nauseous? pregnant? ughhh...it was hard to tell.

Suddenly, I fully understood the 2WW I had read about on a Facebook group about NFP. The 2WW was the two week wait between ovulation and Aunt Flo, better known as AF (I told you; abbreviations). For two whole weeks, everything I heard was babies, pregnancy, moms, etc. Another homily at Mass the following week was about the flowers that grow on the concrete pilings under highways, and how it makes no sense to us that life could take form there in that barren, man-made structure, but yet somehow a tiny bit of dirt settled and a seed just happened to be blown by the wind and land in that dirt, and there we have it--now there's a beautiful flower where it was completely unexpected.

In another instance, a little girl in my class drew a picture of me having a baby under a tree (probable knowing me, but still, why was I having a baby?) Kids always know these things. I strolled my class out to playground and we passed the Kindergarten class. Their teacher said, "Boys, and girls, let's congratulate Mrs. Schmidt!"

"Congratulations, Mrs. Schmidt," they hummed in chorus. One of my students echoed it, only adding her own part.

"Congratulations, Mrs. Schmidt--you're having a baby!" She exclaimed and clapped her hands.

But, as luck, or God's timing, would have it, after a very long 2WW, AF did arrive. I was relieved, confident and proud of myself. Then, I really got it! We can do anything! NFP is great! It does reflect the love of the Holy Trinity. It does make us respect each other, understand each other, and connect on different levels in our relationship.

It is hard, and it takes work, but that's the point! It also requires communication, listening, and respect. We're only 4 months into it, but I do feel quite proud knowing we could change our minds at any time. And that we are open to life if we are chosen to parent a little tiny of our own! But for now, we are okay to take a little time as newlyweds, prepare our new nest for our future tinies, and if we "mess up," we'll know exactly what we're getting ourselves into!

Tiny Opportunities to Eliminate Stress

Raising tinies is hard. Teaching a classroom of 17 of them sometimes feels even harder. But for all the work, time, hairs pulled out, whining, crying, snot wiping challenges, at the end of the day you look at each tiny person and see their wondering eyes staring back at you. At the end of each day, they have grown by tiny leaps and bounds--if you've done your job.

The other day, my niece announced, "I don't like being three!" When prompted why, she groaned and exclaimed, "Because it takes FOREVER to do things!"

My goodness! How many times have I had a tiny in my care struggling to tie his shoes? Impatiently, I drop to the ground and quickly lace the Buzz Lightyear sneakers and pull him to his feet so we can keep going.

But what am I leaving for him to do? What am I teaching him? How am I letting him grow?  If it's stressful to me that he can't do it himself, how must it feel to be him?

The only way for a three year old to not take FOREVER to do things is for her to practice slowly and build speed with time.

If I always stop to carry my baby down the stairs because she inches down like she's descending a mountain with each step, how will she learn to maneuver them with ease?

Taking time for our children is inevitable.

I always suggest to mothers of toddlers and preschoolers to allow for extra time when getting ready to go somewhere. Do not run out of time for your children to grow! Getting dressed, picking out their own clothes, learning to tie shoes and buckle their own seat belts are, more often than not, skills that are overlooked--important skills that build confidence, self-awareness, and independence.

As children get older and are able to take care of these tasks, give them an incentive. Have them get completely ready to go before they do anything else. Then, once they are ready, their leftover time is how long they will have to play. If your child chooses to drag her feet, she is only cutting into her own play time--not making you late.

Although today it feels like it is taking her FOREVER to do simple things, allow your child that space to work through it. Tomorrow will be quicker, and every day after that she will shave a little time off the clock, and soon, the struggles of today will be faint memories. You'll miss the days you could sit and drink your coffee while your little one worked and worked to pull her little shoes on her feet.

This, too, shall pass--and quite ironically, it will pass all too quickly.

Positioning Your Tiny for Birth

Many complications that come from birth start with a tiny who is sideways, backwards, upside down!

Positioning baby for birth is important, and can begin long before labor ever starts. I always suggest my clients invest in a birthing ball several weeks before baby is expected. If you need more information about what kind of ball to get for your birth ball, you can click here.

Birth balls place mom in a comfortable, squatted position, opening her pelvis and pulling her sacrum back, helping baby to move down and engage. I suggest sitting on a birth ball while watching tv, working, hanging out, etc. It encourages the best possible position for birth possible.

If you sit on it and rotate your hips, it will also help to swirl baby into a good spot. You want baby's back laying against the front of your belly before birth; head down.

Many moms who experience back labor have a baby who is facing the wrong direction; or an OP baby--face up. Pull your birth ball over to the edge of the bed. Sit in a wide stance on the ball, rest your head on the edge of the bed, and hang your belly in the middle. Swaying on the ball in this position can swing baby around so that their back falls to the front of your belly, making the back of baby's cranium the first thing to enter the birth canal--locked and loaded!

The best resource for other tips on how to position baby are found at Spinning Babies. These tips can save you hours of hard labor. Study up before your tiny is ready to meet you!

Did you use a birth ball? Did you feel like it helped with your labor?

Breastfeeding and St. Patrick's Day

Ohh St. Patrick's Day...the day of green beer, street parties and memorable (or not so much) taxi rides with friends.

But this year, you are home snuggled up on your warm, cozy couch with your newest tiny on your chest. Not exactly the wild and crazy St. Paddy's day shin-digs of the past.

"It's okay! I'm a mom now! I don't need all that. I have everything I need right here," you think as you hear the marching band from the parade outside your door. And you're right. But you do find you're reminding yourself a lot.

Want the silver lining? It's not just an old wive's tale, the yeast in beer is good for your milk production! So, perhaps St. Patrick's Day is not all lost! Have a friend over and enjoy a cold, green brew...it's good for you and your tiny!

Drink responsibly; Okay to drive? Okay to nurse!

Tiny Leprechauns for St. Patrick's Day!

The imagination of your tiny can really soar when it's fed a little. Holidays are a wonderful time to bring those dreams to a whole new level!

I find that some parents have trouble creating whimsical characters for their children, not wanting them to believe in "silly" or "unrealistic" things. However, as I have mentioned before, children learn from every experience. No child will believe in Santa forever, however, Santa may teach them to think outside the box! There will come a day when they figure it out, but they will have the tools to see beyond reality. They learn to think beyond what is right in your face; a great skill for innovative thinkers.

That being said, there is no greater joy as a parent or teacher to see your tiny's face light up with the magic of the holidays! The beautiful innocence is raw and their minds are working to comprehend new things! To dream up new ideas. To become detectives to see what they can see!

That's why this week in my preschool class, we got quite a few visits from "Lucky the Leprechaun." We started with a note from Lucky sprinkled with green glitter and a GIANT mess! I did not take as many pictures as I should have, but he knocked over the rocking chair and threw the beans from our bean box all over the room! The note challenged us to catch him if we can!

From the moment of Lucky's first visit, the kids took the reigns.

Some wrote him letters; "Lucky, please do not color on our papers!"
Others made traps, and a few scoured the room for more clues.

Whether it was a mess intended for the Leprechaun, or something we forgot to clean up ourselves, anything that was awry in the room was blamed on Lucky. Every time he came through, he left green glitter as his trademark.

He dumped golden coins in the sandbox, played with our tools, colored on some papers, walked in some green paint, step danced all over our table, turned our milk green, and finally he left chocolate gold coins with a note telling us to try to catch him again next year! Sneaky little leprechaun. He even did things I didn't expect, like paint on the mulch in our playground and leave crumbs under the lunch table!

Tinies are only tiny for a little while. Do not close the world of wonderment for them. Imagination creates great thinkers! 

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

St. Patrick: Pray for us!

Did you create any special St. Patrick's Day memories with your tinies this year?

Tiny Wishlists

I wanted to share this article because I think it mentions many aspects of preparing for a tiny baby that our consumer-driven culture overlooks! Those that think buying strollers and bouncy seats and installing a car seat in their brand new car parked in their oversized garage makes them "prepared for baby" are in for a rude awakening. Chances are, that $100 outfit you dreamed of dressing your new baby in, will be spit up and pooped on before you get the snaps fastened. The fancy 5-speed swing with mobile attached; baby will scream every time you try to put him down in it. 
This crazy idea that things needed to prepare for baby are found at Target is what sends so many new parents spinning into shock when they first go home.  It is so important to focus on the true meaning of adding a baby to your life and not view your new arrival as an endless money pit! Babies don't need expensive clothes and accessories; they need warm arms and lots of love! The other stuff is just fluff!

--Rant over.--

http://www.becomingminimalist.com/2011/11/08/7-ways-to-prepare-for-a-new-baby-without-shopping/

Photo Credit to Kerry Stafford of The Painted Treehouse

Did you get anything for your tiny that he ended up not using/enjoying?

Creating Independent Tinies

"I'm hottttttt" one of my students whined to me standing bundled in long pants and a sweatshirt on a Florida day that was turning quickly from warm to muggy. I looked down at him, his brow furrowed, his tiny feet stomping, shoulders dropped in the most pathetic way. I gave him a knowing smile. "You're hot?" I echoed. He stamped his feet again and moaned, "Yes!"

Of course, at nearly five years old, a child his age could figure this one out, I thought. "Well what should you do?" I asked. His tiny arms flailed and he looked quite impatient with me that I would not just fix this for him. "I don't know!" He answered, exasperated. I crouched down to his level, put my hands on his shoulder and caught his eyes. "Let's think about this. You're wearing a sweatshirt, and you are telling me you're hot. What should you do?" His gaze looked sheepishly to the side and he giggled, "Take off the sweatshirt."

"There you go!" I said, standing back to my feet. Again, his arms dropped and his foot crushed the floor, "But I don't know how!" he insisted.

There are times when four and five year olds can be the most ambitious do-it-yourselfers on the planet, and there are moments when they simply will not. This, for Sam, was a will-not kind of moment. His mother had admitted to me that she helped him get dressed every morning, so knowing this was a skill he needed a little extra work with, I went ahead and took advantage.

He glared at me for a moment waiting for me to give in. I smiled at him and said, "Figure it out!" With those three words, Sam went to work. He pulled, he leaned, he twisted, groaned, wriggled, jiggled, and low and behold his head came popping out of the neck hole and he was free! He started out a tiny ball of frustration but came out the other side a beaming, proud big kid who could take his own sweatshirt off! "You did it!" I exclaimed and patted him on the back, but he was too busy running his sweatshirt off to throw in his cubbie to stick around for my praise. He had figured it out! In that little moment, he had gone from a helpless tiny to a capable little boy!

Many times, children just need someone else to show a bit of confidence in their abilities. "Figure it out." It's a simple phrase I use for special occasions like this when I know a child is capable, but scared to take that leap. It empowers them just enough to solve a problem, and build their confidence twofold!

What are some phrases you use with your tiny in those "will-not" kinds of moments?

Breastfeeding Tinies

"Ow, ow, owwww!!!" 
                                "This is so much harder than I expected." 
                                                                                          "I don't think I'm doing it right!" 
            "How do I know how much he is eating?" 

"Am I starving my baby?"

In all my postpartum visits, these are the kinds of complaints and concerns I hear most from breastfeeding moms. It's not all flowers and daisies as expected. Many are just downright frustrated. The "biological" way to feed your baby. The way "nature intended." The "smart" thing to do. But, why is it so complicated? Why is that free sample of formula you got in the mail and tossed to the wayside suddenly tempting and taunting you? 

Breastfeeding is not always as easy as it's cracked up to be. In fact, many times it's the new mother who ends up feeling cracked. I suppose, as with many relationships in life, the breastfeeding relationship can sometimes get off to a rocky start. Moms expect to latch baby on and watch him get fat right in their arms, but it is not always the case!

The good news is, it's nothing a little persistence, good support, and encouragement can't fix! 

For starters, here are a few breastfeeding basics for expecting and new moms;

1. Directly after birth, you will only produce colostrum, which is very thick and filling to your tiny. It may take a few days for your actual milk to come in.

2. What goes in must come out--expect at least one wet diaper per day of life, capping off at 5-6. This will reflect that baby is getting just what he needs. (i.e., 3 wet diapers on day 3) It is the same expectations for dirty diapers with a cap of 3-4 dirty diapers per day. As long as your tiny is keeping up with diapers, rest assured he won't be tiny forever! He is getting plenty to eat and will be gaining weight in no time.

3. Just about all babies lose weight after birth. This is not because you are not feeding him. It is typical, and should be gained back very quickly. Keep counting diapers!

4. Get a good lactation consultant to double check your tiny's latch. Lips should be flanged out like a fishy, and a good bit of areola/breast (depending on the woman) should be in baby's mouth. One big mistake I see is baby is latched only on the end of the nipple, which is inefficient for baby, and can cause great damage/pain for mommy! Yikes!

5. After birth, your tiny is, well, tiny! He will want to eat all. the. time. Get some comfy pillows, a giant jug of water, a good magazine or book, the tv remote, etc. and camp out! Kick your feet up and relax! Any time baby starts rooting (turning head back and forth, mouth open, sucking on fingers/hands) nurse him! Keeping him close to your chest will encourage your body to start making milk for him, as well! 

6. Babies are more efficient than pumps; do not panic if you cannot get a whole ounce from a pump. Again, it is not a good indication of how much milk you are producing. See #2, count diapers if concerned about production.

7. Watch baby's chin for swallows. If he starts to "nibble" and not make any major swallowing motions, feel free to take him off. If he is still giving hunger cues, try switching sides. Do not worry about the clock; worry about your tiny! He'll tell you what he needs.

8. Nurse ON DEMAND. Clocks, books, nurses, mothers, husbands--nothing--NOTHING can tell you when your baby should eat. Your baby should eat when your baby is hungry. Some feedings he may fall asleep during. Some he may eat quickly and be finished. Others he may hang out for and take slowly. As mentioned in #7, do not worry about the clock, but simply, pay attention to your baby. 

9. It should not hurt. Nursing itself, with a good latch, should not hurt. However, after birth, some women experience pain in their breasts during letdown. It may feel like pins and needles from the inside all the way to the nipple. This, too, shall pass. After nursing for about thirty seconds (to get past letdown) it should subside. It may come back if baby stays latched long enough to get a second letdown, but breathe and count and it will subside again. This pain goes away once breastfeeding is well established. 

10. You are not doing anything wrong! It is the best thing for you and your baby, and after you get breastfeeding well established, it IS as easy as everyone says! There is no packing for a trip around town, you will never run out of milk and have to rush home for more, (or out to the store, for that matter), and it NEVER goes bad or gets recalled. The only way to get through this part, though, is to persevere. Get help. If it doesn't feel right, get it checked. Find a good lactation consultant in your area. 

Keep in mind, this is not just your first time with the whole breastfeeding thing, but it's also your tiny's first whack at it, too! It'll take a little time to get you both in sync. That's what I'm here for! To answer questions, offer support, and help you get to that breastfeeding field of flowers and daisies.

Photo Credit: http://www.peterboroughandstamford.nhs.uk/page/?title=Breastfeeding&pid=12941 

What were some of your unexpected struggles as you worked to establish breastfeeding? What helped you through them? 

Tiny Book Nook

Books take your tiny on incredible journeys that would otherwise be uncharted territory. Pulling the use of imagination and wonder, harvesting wonder and begging for questions, there is no denying books are a crucial part of human development. Some books have rhythm and rhyme, others repeat, some teach children to read while others make them giggle. Some give ideas and suggestions, others spark intrigue, and some books tell us all about faraway lands we would never know exist. 

It is important to set up a cozy place in your home or classroom for your tinies to access literature. Here are a few hints to creating a great space for reading.

1. Quiet. Find a corner far away from the more noisy areas. 

2. Make it inviting. In order for a reading space to be inviting, it just needs to be comfortable. I lined my book corner with two large body pillows against the walls with a comfy rug underneath. It is also nice if you can find something to hang over your book nook, just to give it added intimacy for a reader and their book. 

3. Organization. Books should be neatly displayed, and switched out often. It is okay to have a messier book shelf/book bin elsewhere, but for your reading corner, narrow down choices, and make the books look appealing. Changing the books out will keep the book center exciting. If you can get two tinies fighting over who gets to look at a book first, you've really succeeded! 

4. Keep it simple. Book corners are for focusing on a book. Use soft/neutral colors for your space, and let the displayed books be what catches your tiny's eye.

5. Interactive. I love books that have interactive ways for tinies to retell the story. As you can see below, there is a flannel board next to my book nook. Many times, I either read a book while using felt characters, or I have the children tell their own stories using the flannel board and our felt characters. 

My mommy trying out the book nook!

Teaching Tinies at Home

There is a large buy-in to the busy culture of educating young children. Parents spend money on books, DVDs, and courses trying to teach their children anything.

My greatest reminder for parents of children 0-5 is that every experience is a learning experience. 

When your baby turns the faucet on and off and on and off and on and off (x1,000) he is not mesmerized, or bored, or being silly; he is learning. He learns cause and effect. He learns how water sticks together and runs quickly down a drain. He experiences the sensations of the water splashing on his pudgy little tiny hand. He is learning! Allowing him to explore processes is a great part of learning. Sit with baby while he does these things. Give him vocabulary for what he is learning. On! Off! Splash, splash, splash! You are not wasting time, you are teaching. 

Create opportunities for new learning as your tiny grows bigger. Add new, exciting objects to play that your child has already created. For example, if he is playing with the water in the sink, add a spoon and a cup. Now your tiny is learning volume, capacity, developing fine motor and pouring skills. He may practice stirring, and observe how water swirls around when coaxed.

Play is an innate way to learn. There are many ages and stages of play that your tiny will move through automatically as he is ready. The best way to "get him ahead" is to provide several enriching opportunities to encourage more play--that's right--more play.

What are some ways you witness your own tinies learning through play?

A {not-so} Tiny Birth

"She gave birth to him at home," I told a friend about my sister and newborn nephew I had just come home from visiting. Her face screwed into a strange, disgusted expression and a drawn out, impulsive, "reeeaally?" snuck out of her mouth. I smiled, almost expecting the reaction, and gently nodded. You could see the wheels turning in her head. "Could I have done that? Would I have done that?" The thoughts were almost flying out of her mind. She shook her head and spiraled into her own birth stories quickly spouting out why she would not have been able to do that. Her first baby had been taken by caesarean because she was "too big." So, the next one she simply scheduled that way. "How big was your first?" I asked. "7 lbs. 8 oz," she replied...And in the lull, the curious question came next, "How big was your nephew?" I smiled, "9 lbs. 12 oz." Not the teeniest tiny birth. Part of me wanted to smile and say, "Tell me again why your first had to be caesarean?"

I resisted because I know the birth world. There are those who understand and respect it, and there are those who fear it and shut their eyes until it is over. I have witnessed nurses popping in and out of hospital rooms of mothers working to birth babies, and quietly, yet consistently, reminding them that the epidural is "ready when you are!" I have seen mothers enter transition, and opt for anesthesia just minutes from the moment baby could be in their arms! No one tells them. If they could have just held on another few moments. The message is, "You cannot do it. You cannot do it." 

I have also seen women who know birth. They know the work of it, and they understand the flow and the stages and they tune out the world, sometimes they even tune out their own minds, and their body carefully, meticulously brings the baby down and out. These women are surrounded by knowing professionals. It is always work--that's why it's called labor. But, as with everything, there is a rhythm to birthing a tiny baby. Contractions wash in and out. Transition brings harder, more difficult maneuvers, strong sensations, and pushes a woman to her limit. If she can just make it through, she has her baby in her arms! The pain is over. You are a mother to a beautiful, newborn tiny. 

There are two different sides to birth. It can be beautiful, it can be terrifying; it can be peaceful, it can be traumatic; it can be aware, it can be shocking. At some point in history, it turned from natural to medical. While there are instances where medical is good, the majority of births are natural. Women deserve the right to a least restrictive birthing environment. She should be able to walk, to sway, to submerge in water, to eat, to chat. Instead, many healthy mothers are strapped to beds, pumped full of IVs and drugs, put into overdrive so that she cannot handle it. While some precautions are good, there are many that are unnecessary and we cross the bridge from preventative to disruptive. 

It is my mission as a birth worker to make women aware; to take the fear out of birthing, and to return the mother's control to her birth.

Our 9 lb. 12 oz. (after he peed and pooped!) nephew getting his newborn exam at home from the lovely midwife, Rebecca, from Wholistic Midwifery Services, Inc.