Creating Independent Tinies

"I'm hottttttt" one of my students whined to me standing bundled in long pants and a sweatshirt on a Florida day that was turning quickly from warm to muggy. I looked down at him, his brow furrowed, his tiny feet stomping, shoulders dropped in the most pathetic way. I gave him a knowing smile. "You're hot?" I echoed. He stamped his feet again and moaned, "Yes!"

Of course, at nearly five years old, a child his age could figure this one out, I thought. "Well what should you do?" I asked. His tiny arms flailed and he looked quite impatient with me that I would not just fix this for him. "I don't know!" He answered, exasperated. I crouched down to his level, put my hands on his shoulder and caught his eyes. "Let's think about this. You're wearing a sweatshirt, and you are telling me you're hot. What should you do?" His gaze looked sheepishly to the side and he giggled, "Take off the sweatshirt."

"There you go!" I said, standing back to my feet. Again, his arms dropped and his foot crushed the floor, "But I don't know how!" he insisted.

There are times when four and five year olds can be the most ambitious do-it-yourselfers on the planet, and there are moments when they simply will not. This, for Sam, was a will-not kind of moment. His mother had admitted to me that she helped him get dressed every morning, so knowing this was a skill he needed a little extra work with, I went ahead and took advantage.

He glared at me for a moment waiting for me to give in. I smiled at him and said, "Figure it out!" With those three words, Sam went to work. He pulled, he leaned, he twisted, groaned, wriggled, jiggled, and low and behold his head came popping out of the neck hole and he was free! He started out a tiny ball of frustration but came out the other side a beaming, proud big kid who could take his own sweatshirt off! "You did it!" I exclaimed and patted him on the back, but he was too busy running his sweatshirt off to throw in his cubbie to stick around for my praise. He had figured it out! In that little moment, he had gone from a helpless tiny to a capable little boy!

Many times, children just need someone else to show a bit of confidence in their abilities. "Figure it out." It's a simple phrase I use for special occasions like this when I know a child is capable, but scared to take that leap. It empowers them just enough to solve a problem, and build their confidence twofold!

What are some phrases you use with your tiny in those "will-not" kinds of moments?